Fwd: Heads up! An item from order #1067703652178 has shipped.

Begin forwarded message:

From: Target <orders@oe.target.com>
Date: January 20, 2021 at 5:42:27 PM CST
To: sgates786@gmail.com
Subject: Heads up! An item from order #1067703652178 has shipped.
Reply-To: Target <reply-fec7157771650674-20_HTML-311799929-7284873-22451@oe.target.com>



They're headed your way. Check out when you can expect them.

Order # 1067703652178

Stephen , your order is on its way Just a few more stops…

Hi Stephen , We're just dropping a line to let you know an item from your order shipped, and we processed a payment of $136.26. Need anything else? Connect with us by visiting order details. Thanks for shopping Target!

Standard shipping

Delivers to: Bethany Gates, 318 N Scott St Apt 1, Wheaton, IL, 60187-5827 FEDEX GROUND Tracking # 782815631400 Track status

Strider Sport 14" Kids' Balance Bike - Blue Qty: 1

Looking for your receipt? Scan for in-store returns: 2-1020-3991-0574-1239-1 VCD: 792-155-032 Visit your order details page and select receipts to view your receipt and more. Receipts and invoices

Any issues with your order? Fixing it is fast! Save time and fix it online. We'll guide you through anything that's not quite right. Fix an issue

Even more great ways to save. › Free 2-day ship › Clearance › Target App › Same Day Delivery ›

Help Returns Contact Find a store Terms of use Privacy Target.com © 2021 Target Brands, Inc.

Give me Penmanship, Please!

Cursive handwriting is a necessary attribute of a well-educated citizen not just for honoring tradition and the art of penmanship, but for fluidity of thought and speech. The LA Times wrote an article, "The Many Health Perks of Good Handwriting" chronicling the research that correlates increased brain activity with handwriting practice. The evidence is very compelling because of how the fine motor skills help develop the brain and reading readiness for early elementary students. Cursive is more efficient, professional, and generationally un-biased- there is a universality to cursive. For centuries, eloquence in writing and speech was the standard of an educated, thoughtful citizen- we must maintain this for our students because they will need to be able to express themselves in written and spoken form for college, vocational school, interviews, and even less formal venues. The need for cursive instruction is obvious and should not be considered a separate part of the curriculum, but rather infiltrated throughout the content areas. I have seen this accomplished very well at a few private schools in this area (Covenant Classical School and Naperville Classical Academy). Both schools require penmanship practice in the early grades, and after 3rd grade (I think), students are required to only use penmanship in ALL of their writing (they are also required to stand when answering every question, and to use full sentences!) The reasoning behind these seemingly formal practices has multiple purposes, but for the purposes of this response, eloquence and intentional communication are the main skills being instilled.

Students should not just be equipped to answer questions on a multiple choice test correctly, filling in the right bubble, or regurgitate information drilled into them- but be able to articulately express, debate, and defend their thoughts on and extrapolations of such information. Cursive is a piece of this "owning" and cultivating their own voice for both their public and private lives- even if for learning how "it" has been done for centuries before texting and emailing. Just because everyone is texting does not mean we need instruction on text speech; are our goals as educators to facilitate our student's flourishing and contributing to human history and society (hopefully improving conditions for the disenfranchised and future generations) or merely meet the fads and demands of our functionality obsessed culture? Eliminating cursive instruction is equitable to a "dumbing down" of our standards and submission to the trends of technology.

Stardom on a small scale

In my child psychology class, we have to write responses to the reading we cover- this one is in regards to adolescence and our personal experience. I love these assignments because you get to connect what you are reading in theories with real life experiences.

Enjoy!

Adolescence was a mixture of exciting opportunities, discovery, growth, and academic success combined with daily feelings of inadequacy, self-hatred, comparison, fear and loneliness. I was an excellent student, highly involved in choral groups (the TV show Glee is based off of the Show Choir I was a part of!), theater, and church. I remember the joy of performing in Mixed Company, as it was called, and how I loved singing and dancing. I also remember feeling desperate for my director to give me a solo, working so hard on my voice in private lessons, and feeling lousy about my tone quality and lack of sight-reading ability. I relentlessly compared myself to almost every other girl, always coming in uglier, fatter, or terribly less talented. I found a picture of myself recently of myself from those days with other students, laughed out loud, exclaiming to my younger self “you are beautiful, why did you compare yourself so much? If only you had believed in yourself!” Personally, this is a trend for me- not believing in myself and feeling “not good enough.”

I remember my personal fable in high school, was to be the lead in the musical, win the director’s favor (who actually ending up losing his teaching license for inappropriate conduct with female students!), and then someday become a professional actress and singer- “showing them how great I really am.” There was an implicit curriculum within musical and theater department due to the band director’s daughters being in commercials and films- one of his daughters is actually a working, somewhat famous, Hollywood actress on a popular TV show currently. I think this reality, of the Morrison girls being groomed for stardom, getting agents, and auditioning for television and commercials definitely added to the pressure and desperation I felt to be affirmed and approved of. I felt starved for someone to tell me I was “good”, “talented” or had a “beautiful voice.” I don’t think my passion was for the craft as much for the approval.

Honestly, I still struggle with dreams of stardom- I think “little Bethany” really believes she is a movie-star in the making, singing her heart out to Amy Grant songs, and pretending to be Julia Roberts on a movie set, as hilarious as that sounds!

And yet, as an adult, it has taken me some years to realize in a personal, existential way the reality of doing “small things with great love” (Mother Teresa) exceeds doing “great things that get a lot of attention or acclaim.” I think this has a great intersection with my work as a teacher: in a way I still get to be the “star” for my students, but I get to bring the “audience” up on stage with me! That was always a frustration for me as an actress, pursuing a career in acting, auditioning for commercials, and working on films- I felt bored, stifled and wanted so much to affect real change and LOVE another. As a teacher, I get to act, sing, dance even, and most of all LOVE.

Anyone else have a personal fable or adolescent dream they want to share?!

A Beautiful Day

It was gorgeous outside today- perfect for a top-down convertible drive to the cemetery, Mom's favorite restaurant (Egg Harbor, of course!), and stopping by the house for photo album reminiscing and antique admiring. Kathy came with me, she has adopted me- or rather, I have adopted her!

I feel so blessed and loved by God through her and my growing community of mothers and sisters. This past year, I have really prioritized sisterhood and God has brought so many wonderful women into my life. My life is rich because of the relationships I am so blessed to participate in.


No one can replace my mom, the love and intimacy I had with her, how she "got me" more than any other woman- and I have wrestled with God over how desperately I need this knowing, this intimacy in my life. My soul cries out for that human connection, how when your eyes meet its like you are home, and your Being is cradled lovingly. My mom cradled me in her arms, her words cradled my heart and her eyes cradled my soul. He is showing me that my need is real and there is a huge hole in my heart, but that if I am open and willing (key ingredient) He can and will bring new love, new relationships, new joys, laughter and depth into my soul. I won't ever have what I had with my mom, and God won't "fill her shoes" in some magical way, but He can and is providing love and intimacy with others.

And the extra special part: being loved by the family of God isn't assumed by blood relation, but by His Spirit in us. It has been really special being loved by Kathy, Vicki and Carol this year- because none of these women are vested to me in the way my mom was (and I am not diminishing the love of a mother), but rather making a point to highlight how their love for me is independent of relation- they like me and choose me for family! This makes me cry because it is really good to be Chosen. I am believing- experiencing how the Family of God can bring deep healing to those that have lost their family.

There will always I think be a part of our hearts that cry out for more intimacy, though. We deeply long to be known and to know... we yearn for affirmation for our being, for love just because we exist, and adoration at who we are. I accept this nagging longing. I affirm this even, because it speaks of that part of our hearts that are Home only in God- who is the Being, who is the Existing One.

You have made us for Yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You. (St. Augustine)

My mom rests fully now.


Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, ⁵who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ⁸ (1 Peter)

2 Years Approaching

So, it's been a while since I posted something, but I have been accumulating future posts in my brain hoping for the time to make them sound really smart and chic. HA HA HA! Time- what a joke! Instead of stock piling for later eloquent discourse- here is what has been percolating in my noggin:

- Grad School is wonderful! I love school and want to be paid to learn. :) Anyone else want to join me? Thank you God for nurturing our minds.


- What about worshipping God, walking with God with Pure Love, Pure Faith and Pure Hope as St. Theophan mentions? This is serious business and means dieing to myself in a way I haven't really wanted to explore... but the hardest step is the first and each day I am taking it! I want to worship God, love God, connect with God for WHO He is and not just WHAT He does or doesn't do for me. More to come on this topic...

- Is God ever NOT "doing"? Isn't He ALWAYS pouring forth His Love, Beauty, Goodness, Grace, and Salvation to all of Humanity all the TIME? And furthermore, isn't He every moment of every day giving us HIMSELF in His Son, Jesus? This is powerful stuff to take in... really take in. I think if I REALLY believed this, I would live sooo very differently and far more FREE!



And Tuesday is the 2 year anniversary of my beautiful Mother's death. Still weird typing those words. Still feels like I am writing about another's loss- not my own. And yet, this past year, has been the hardest for me- much more permanent. Much more REAL. She is GONE (not in St. Louis or Door County or Iowa visiting dear friends and family.) And I can't call her, cuddle into her warm body, hold her sweet veiny hands, smell her skin, or be seen by her beautiful hazel eyes that went right to my soul and affirmed my being. I have LOST much in her and carry a sorrow in my soul... but the Beauty of it all is that Christ trampled down death by death! And God is showing me that He is my Life (not my family, not my relationships, not my externals) and Rock. And that it is possible to live this life with pain, loss, holes and still have joy, still marvel at the Beauty all around, still laugh till your sides ache, still love till it's hard to breathe and still let go of it all if Your Father allows or asks this. I have realized in a gut-level way that Life (and the Christian Life) is not about happiness or comforts or dreams come true or even really good, noble things you want to happen working out... but saying Yes to our Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit and trusting (working out that salvation with fear, trembling, crying, cursing even at times) that He is far more invested in our True Being (Theosis- for those that are willing to entertain such a preposterous idea) than even we are... and in Him we are Home.

Thank you for reading!

Putting this on my blog may seem a bit strange, but for some reason it is comforting knowing someone will probably read this...

Dear Mom,

I miss you. More than word can say, more than tears, more than deep cries- I miss you in this dark, desolate, empty sort of way. Like a void, an empty, vast void- that only your presence can fill. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Your eyes. Your smell. The soft skin of your cheek next to mine. Your weathered hands; hands that diapered little bottoms, soothed crying faces, prayed and worshiped, and fed your family. I miss your life, Mom. Your voice. I miss pulling in the driveway to see you knee deep gardening, working in the yard, breathing the fresh air and soaking in the sun.

I miss you greeting little SamSam, how you'd stretch your arms out so wide, scoop him up, snuggle him tight and make him laugh. I miss how you loved him, how you loved being Granmom. How you treasured life.

I don't understand why God didn't heal you. I know that God didn't take you, but sin took you and Christ saved you from death. I just wish he'd given you more life with us. It feels cruel, I'm sure it isn't, but how do I reconcile God's love and faithfulness with His lack of healing you? How is this God's best for you? These are the questions I am sitting on, Mom- you know what it's like to sit on questions, I remember.

If you were still alive, I'd like to think that I wouldn't take advantage of you- that I would treasure you more, love you better, and spend more time with you. Perhaps, if we'd just had a scare with your health- but you were healed, I would cherish you more. I'd walk with you in this beautiful Autumn weather; you'd love this Autumn- it has been breathtakingly colorful and the perfect "jeans and t-shirt" mild. We'd rake leaves, watch Sam play in them, and laugh over his 3 year old joy. We'd talk of God, what He is doing in our lives, what my future holds, and how I struggle to trust Him, and you'd remind me that He is faithful and loves me. You might complain about Dad or something discouraging in your life, and I'd try to fix you, which wouldn't work. I'd like to picture you and Dad getting real help- facing the pain and dysfunction in the light, shame-free love of Christ. I'd like to picture you receiving great healing and transformation around the wounds you carried from your own childhood. I picture you free, Mom- beautifully, joyfully, serenely free. Abundant Life.

I love you,
Bethany Anne

More Pictures of Mom

This is Annie (Mom's baby sister, who flew up from Texas to be with her) and Aunt Bernie (one of Dad's sisters, who came to stay over many nights to help). Mom had just woken up from her nap in her own bed! We had gotten help from friends to carry her up the stairs, it took three people. She really wanted to be in her own bed in her bedroom. In this picture we were helping her go through all her jewelry and picking out her clothes for the visitation and funeral. I think we were all numb.


Or slap happy! I don't know what I am laughing about in this picture, but I just love that I am laughing with Mom.


She raised her hands for this picture impromtu. I think she wanted a picture of her praising God, for us to remember that she kept praising Him... unto the very end. Amen!



I know it's dark, but I love her eyes and expression in this picture. Annie is talking and Mom is looking on her with such love. Mom was such a good, patient, attentive listener. She loved me with her listening.

Mom and her boy.


Mom and her girls.

Hannah and Mom.

Pictures of Mom

This was just a few days before she went to be with Jesus and He gave her eternal Life.

This hibiscus flower is from Mom's garden! She had just planted it this year and the blossom was magnificent. I picked her fresh flowers from her garden every few days because they just kept blooming. What I would give to pick her flowers again!

Achingly so

So, one month came and went.  And yesterday, the 27th was my Dad's 58th birthday!  Happy Birthday, Dad!

I have been going, a lot.  I have been doing a lot.  I have been "up and about" ... a lot.  And I haven't felt much.  Which has been nice, but God is slowing me down.  And I am feeling more.  Hurting more.  Missing her... achingly so.

This weekend at Church, I prayed and asked God why no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get on top of finances, my time management, and my eating habits.  I am a very undisciplined person and I am beyond frustration about it, I am exasperated... bewildered.  I think God told me that I need to slow down.  That I can't possibly expect myself to be on top of these things at the pace at which I have been surviving my life (not living, mind you).  I think He told me that if I slow down and hold off on all my very ambitious goals, that I will find myself more whole and perhaps disciplined than before?!  I get the impression this isn't just a seasonal slowing down, this is a way of life thing, a "stop adding another thing to your life and just be" kind of recommendation. 

I am not very good at just "be-ing".  I am an anxious, fidgety, high energy, extroverted-to-a-fault, effervescent kind of woman.  Slowing down and just "be-ing" isn't in my repertoire... I need a manual, a to-do list, some verb that I can latch onto!  Sitting and breathing aren't good enough.  Is "stilling" a verb?  I don't think so.

This is where I am at... avoiding being still.  Avoiding "being".  And I know God has been nudging me to this for years.  And I think I need it more now than ever.  A good book on this: Invitation to Solitude and Silence, read it if you are also considering "stilling" yourself.

My Eulogy for Mom

My Eulogy for Mom

Bethany Gates

September 26th, 2009

My Mother, Bonnie Ann, was the most beautiful woman I have ever known.

She always had a smile on her face, sparkly eyes, a word of encouragement, and a hug.  She was known by so many as a tender nurse who not only bandaged up your wounds, but spoke to your heart and gave the flame of your faith more kindling.  I remember her telling me, these past three years, as she would go off to work at the hospital, that she just wanted to be Jesus to her patients, to love them.  I asked her how she got through working those shifts, when she herself was in so much pain from treatments, she told me it was because of God's love for her, Jesus sacrifice on the cross for her, and His calling on her to love any and everyone he brought to her path.  This was my mother. 

 

My Mother was known by many as a faithful friend; who wanted the best for you, even if it meant saying things you didn't want to hear.  She was the kind of friend, who saw you in the light of Christ, who called out the best in you, and who believed in you when even you couldn't believe in yourself.  She was the kind of friend that would go "deep" in conversation, swimming through the mysteries of God, life and the human struggle, as well as the kind of friend that would also enjoy a quiet stroll outside, shopping for treasures, her beloved antiques, eating ice cream, and laughing over a cup of coffee.  This was my mother.

  

My Mother was known as a fun mom, who threw amazing birthday parties.  Not just one party, no; with mom, we had a friend party with all our 20+ classmates at some exciting, over-priced, over-stimulating, area kiddie attraction and a family party with all our aunts, uncles and cousins.  I remember numerous birthday parties, where Mom made me feel so special, each card, each gift, each candle was filled with so much forethought, love and excitement over my life.  This was my Mother.

 

For me, I knew my mother as a loving, nurturing, inspiring, faith-filled woman.  She was my biggest fan, and knew and loved me better than anyone.  My relationship with my mother has been the closest, most intimate of my life, for she knew me in the womb- all my idiosyncrasies, strengths and weaknesses.  She never ceased to affirm me, to speak into me who God made me to be, to remind me what was true.  She believed in me and loved me when I couldn't believe or love myself.  This was my Mother.

 

In addition, my mom taught me about Jesus, not just with words and Scripture, but with her touch, her listening ear, her attentive eyes, her warm voice, her hugs and kisses, and her heart that exuded the grace which she knew herself from God.  When I think about why I believe in God, why I trust Jesus, and why I love Jesus, the first thing that comes to mind is the childhood my parents gave me.  Through their 32 year marriage of commitment in the peaks and valleys of life, my parents gave my siblings and me a safe space to call home, to be free and loved into our person-hood, given wings to take flight.

It is in the childhood my mother gave me, that I first knew love and came to know God.  A childhood filled with laughter, cuddles, sillyness, prayers, make believe, and just enough discipline to still feel free.  I experienced the Presence of God through my mother and her steadfast commitment to my family and me.  She lived her life from the love she knew in her own walk with Jesus and generously spread this love to all who crossed her path. 

 

With her cancer diagnosis, I really saw my Mother's true character come forward.  She wanted a miracle from God, and didn't stop believing He could do it, and yet she yielded herself over to Him regardless.  Ultimately, she knew He was her Sustainer, she let herself and her days be unto Him. 

 

None of us wanted this, especially my Mother, she wanted more time to give, to love.  And I am tempted to despair, but something inside me says, "No, Jesus has been here too and He made a way through this."  This Something Inside, spurs me on to consider how Jesus too, asked for "this cup" to be passed from him, how he didn't want to die either and yet he surrendered himself to God.  And so did my Mother.  She never stopped praying, praising and loving God.  Each trial pushed her deeper and deeper into her relationship with Him, which really is all she ever needed and wanted.  This was my Mother.

 

As I grieve this tragic loss, I can honestly say there are not words for this kind of pain, just a soul cry deep in my gut.  I will miss her.  

 

In the book, The Wounds of God, Penelope Wilcock writes, "We can offer no solutions, no easy answers, to other people's tragedies…It is Jesus they need, and even he offers no answers.  He offers Himself.  It is when people find their way through to him that the pain of their life becomes the pain not of death, but of birth.  A thing of hope."  This was my Mother.

 

--
The GreenClean Maid
"All Natural, Eco-Friendly Cleaning"
847.845.2132
bethanygates@gmail.com

Obituary

Hello Family and Friends,

I am sending you the link for the Daily Herald:
Bonnie's Obituary


Thank you,
Bethany
 
--
The GreenClean Maid
"All Natural, Eco-Friendly Cleaning"
847.845.2132
bethanygates@gmail.com

Update on Bonnie Gates Funeral Services

Hello dear family and friends,

I have not been able to check either my emails or voice mails today, but thank you all for your faithful love and prayers through this time.  I miss Mom greatly, but am trusting Jesus with the rest.

Love you all,
Bethany

Here is the Updated and Changed Information:

Visitation: Friday September 25th, 2009 
4-8pm, 5pm-6pm Prayer and Sharing (Tentatively lead by Pastor Ted Olsen)

Location:
Frederich's Funeral Home
320 W Central Rd
Mt Prospect, IL 60056-2404
(847) 255-7800

Flowers:
Busse Florist: Mt. Prospect 847-259-2210 (Account is under Bonnie Gates)

Memorial Service: Saturday September 26th, 2009 @ 10am
(Officiated by Rev. Matthew Pechanio of Church of the Resurrection, Glen Ellyn)

Location:
The Orchard Evangelical Free Church Arlington Heights, 1330 N. Douglas Avenue, IL 60004
847-392-4840

*Grave Site Ceremony to follow the Memorial Service at St. John's Cemetery in Arlington Heights
** Luncheon Reception for All, to follow the Grave Site Ceremony, back at The Orchard Church





--
The GreenClean Maid
"All Natural, Eco-Friendly Cleaning"
847.845.2132
bethanygates@gmail.com

I love you, Mom

Dear friends and family,

Stephen and I are writing this to you with tear stained faces and heavy hearts.  Our Mother, Bonnie Ann (McLennan) Gates has passed this evening with her family by her side.  More information will follow, but for now Thursday, Visitation and Wake service at Frederich's funeral home.  Friday 10am, Memorial Service at The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in Arlington Heights.   

Please pray for us (Joseph, Bethany, Hannah, Stephen, Samuel, Roderick and Marilyn McLennan) at this time. There are no words for this kind of thing.  All we want to do is honor our Mother's beautiful life, love for the Lord, commitment to her family and servant heart. 

 Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us sinners.  Amen.

Bethany and Stephen

Brief Update on Bonnie and Family

Hello,

This will be brief, as I am off to bed. 

We got word yesterday from the Hospice RN that Mom is in a coma, and has 24-48 hours.  My grandparents, Rod and Marilyn McLennan arrived safely from North Carolina yesterday, and friends from Iowa, Mike and Vicki Brooks as well.  My brother, Stephen and sister, Hannah, and Dad, along with dear friend, Debbie, are all staying at the house, keeping vigil.

We had a wonderful time last night as a family (with great friends too) enjoying dinner, praying and worshiping by Mom's bedside with Rev. Matthew Pechanio leading a short prayer service.

It was a beautiful time and I know Mom would be so pleased and contented with all this love and worship to God.  That was her heart.

This all feels too soon, I know I am not ready.  A lot of fear, anxiety, doubt, and question has gotten stirred up in my soul the past few days.  I am just asking Jesus to hold me fast, that is really all I can do.

  Thank you,
 Bethany

Re: From today

Hello Friends and Family,

I have set up a Lotsa Helping Hands website to stay connected to all of you and coordinate our needs.  Please go to this website: http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/617874/ and sign up on the right hand side of the form, this is the Request to Join the Community.

Once you've done this, I will begin to receive emails back stating that there are "pending members".  Then I will "approve" you as a member and you can access the site at any time, and sign up for various tasks.  As a member you will be automatically added to the Friends of Bonnie Gates and Family community and sent instructions for setting a password and signing-in.

I realize that we are in the last leg of this journey and Mom will be going home soon, but I know our family will need all the support we can get in the following months- especially around the holidays and when Dad gets the house ready for sale.

So much change.  Lord, have mercy.

Love,
Bethany

On Wed, Sep 16, 2009 at 12:19 AM, bethany gates <bethanygates@gmail.com> wrote:

Dear friends and family,

Thank you all for the outpouring of support, I feel very loved.  If you feel so inclined, please email or call my Dad, Joe at joemg51@gmail.com or 847-845-1648. 

Good news from today:

An amazing answer to prayer- the employee assistance program through Mom's work within Advocate Medical approved 24 hour care giving for us!  This is huge, we didn't even ask for it- rather I put a call in today for weekend help during the night hours, as we all need some sleep- and then within one business day (which never happens) we get tons more than we ever thought possible.  It is a big deal to get this, because it is completely paid for.  Praise God!  We get to be just family now... and sleep.

In addition, Mom was still very lucid today and responsive, though barely speaking.  We had an amazing time as a family tonight; my dad, brother (Stephen), sister (Hannah) and I gathered around Mom and poured our hearts out to her about what we were thankful for about her, how much we loved her, favorite childhood memories, how her legacy of faith and love for God has influenced all of us so much and been the greatest gift of all, and things we needed forgiveness for.  It was truly sacred and precious, I will never forget this time all my life.   

For those of you that knew my mom and did not, I wanted to share with you how her love, unconditional affirmation and acceptance, and consistent belief in me is what pointed me to the Father's love.  She has been my biggest fan and cheerleader, believing in me when I wasn't deserving and didn't believe in myself, seeing me with the Father's eyes.  There is no other love like that which flows from the Trinity, and I have tasted this in my relationship with my mother.  Her tender love, affection, ability to "see" into me, and call out what is true are the foundation stones around the Cornerstone of my life and womanhood.  

Please continue to thank God for this amazing woman, and how her love for God will produce a great harvest. 

In regards to prayer requests:
- Her pain is better managed, and now with consistent care-giving some of the problems we were having are resolved.  Thank you God for this abundant provision!
- Please pray for my dad, that God provides community for him to grieve freely, especially once Mom passes.
- Please pray for my sister, Hannah and brother, Stephen, that God provides them with ease in logistics pertaining to their college and work responsibilities.  Specifically, that Hannah can get more shifts covered at Starbucks to be with all us.
- Please pray that my mom's parents, Rod and Marilyn McLennan arrive safely on Friday as they are driving in from North Carolina.
- Please pray that I make time to slow down and just be with God... in this.  It is so much easier to go, go, go.

Thank you again.

Peace of Christ,
Bethany

Sent 9-14-09:

Please pray for Bonnie as she awoke twice in the night and once just now with "terrible pain", a "7" on a pain scale of 10.  We will meet with the Hospice RN for advice and probably increase the frequency of her pain medication.  I was able to get some soft food down and give her some medication, but her swallowing ability is weakening. 

Please pray that she is able to go to the bathroom and get some relief from the buildup in her bowels, the ascites (fluid retention) is back.

We had a wonderful time with her last night, Dad, Stephen, David, Rebecca and I sat with her for 1 hour as she wanted us to wake her up, so she could be with us.  I rubbed her hands and feet, we talked and laughed, and then David played and sang some of his songs and a few others.  We closed with the song, "We Love You, Lord" and prayer, Stephen annointed Mom's head with oil. 

It was a precious time and I desperately want more this week.

With Christ,
Bethany 

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: bethany gates <bethanygates@gmail.com>

- Show quoted text -

Date: Sun, Sep 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Subject: Blessed Times
To: prayerchain@churchrez.org, Annie <ladydi105@att.net>, Deborah Royse <dlrcjr@yahoo.com>, Joe Gates <joemg51@gmail.com>, sgates786@gmail.com, Hannah Gates <samsam_hjg@hotmail.com>, Grandpa Mac <gfrorymc1@yahoo.com>, Uncle Bill and Jo Schuster <Mutenbill@dpcarch.com>, Mike and Vicki <michaelbrooks5@msn.com>, Bob & Barb Gates <twovettfam@sbcglobal.net>, Bernadette Gates <detta53@yahoo.com>, sarahdr@alumni.unc.edu, Olsen Web Design <amandalaine@gmail.com>, Amber Allan <miz_duncan@hotmail.com>, jeanneleigh@yahoo.com, eirik olsen <eirik@jacobsrefuge.com>, Tsinia Borgman <tsinia.borgman@gmail.com>, jamie <southy1777@aol.com>


Hello again,

More blessed times with my mom.  Thank you God.  She picked out her funeral dress, and we went through jewelry tonight for each of us kids.  We sang a few hymns to her.  And cried through it all.  She is more beautiful now than ever, and I wouldn't want to be any where else in the world.  Thank you God for this time. 

My Aunt Bernie is here, one of Dad's sisters, she has come to give me a night off from being "on call".  It is so great having my Aunt Bernie and Diane here.  We made brownies and laughed our way through funny stories about my mom and dad, as we oohed and ahhed over their wedding album.  Mom would've loved this and planted this passion for family and history in me, not to mention brownies.

Mom is in her bed sleeping now beside Dad in her very own bedroom; she told us last night she wanted to die in her bed in her bedroom.  So, we had some wonderful friends come over and carry Mom up the stairs wrapped in a sheet, kind of like the crippled man being lowered to Jesus through the roof- I understand that story more now.  It was such a joyous event for Mom to rest in her bed, she beamed with a big smile when she awoke at 6pm with energy to be with us.  She thanked God for getting her there and for all the people that helped her.  Jesus didn't heal her today like the crippled man, but he gave her beautiful rest in her precious bedroom with my dad sleeping beside her.     

Healing in the Scriptures has been so easy for me to gloss over in years past, it is hugely penetrating to my heart comprehending in my little way how our God became Man and walked around healing really desperate, hurting, sick people.  I think I have undermined God's heart for the hurting.  And yet, I struggle to trust Him for His Promise of a faithful, abiding Presence and sure Transformation when I hear Mom say "God is taking me away."

Her hibiscus bush, new this year, has had two huge 10" bright pink blooms and her hydrangeas just keep on coming.  I picked a bunch of flowers, including the hibiscus and she gasped at how magnificently beautiful they were- and then she said with a longing beyond words, "God is taking me away".  At this point my Aunt Diane and I burst into tears at Mom's feet- I was overwhelmed with grief and haunted by the question "God why don't you heal her? you are taking her away by not healing her" and so I did what I could only do, cry out to Him with my Aunt and Mom this very conflict. 

Friends and Family, I really don't understand why this is all happening, I don't know why God is allowing this and I am terrified at the mountain size hole in my heart and life and family her dieing will create... and I want so much to have sure faith in God's goodness and ever faithfulness, but more and more I am feeling like Jesus, "my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"  And I recall something Mario Bergner shared at Redeemed Lives a few years ago, how when Jesus cried this out on the cross, he didn't really want the answer, "You are the atonement for the sins of the world, remember Jesus, we agreed on this,"  no, He really wanted God's Very Presence With Him- He wanted that Oneness He had known before the foundations of the world, the kind of Intimacy and Love that breathes life into the dead, that expels all darkness, where fear and shame have no ground and the Unbearable is Bearable.  And because of Jesus, I can have God's Presence with me in my own "Unbearable"- please pray on this, that I will open myself more to receive God's Presence, that the eyes of my heart will be enlightened that I may know what is the hope to which he has called me, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints (Eph 1:18).

I realize that God doesn't give us answers most of the time, probably because no answer or reason would be enough to assuage our deep pain and agony in this life, but instead He gives us Himself.  Please pray that my family can go here- that we can still ourselves enough to let His Presence dwell with us. 

On that note, I am off to bed, having had only 4 hours of sleep.  Thank you all!

Peace of Christ,

Bethany

Hello prayer partners,

Thank you for all the support, I continually marvel at how loving and responsive Church of the Resurrection has been to my family's needs. 

Here is the update:

Mom has been a lot more lucid and peaceable the past few days, now that we switched to a better pain medicine and with all the "spiritual sleep" she has been getting.  A colleague friend of my dad's told me that the sleep, though inordinate, is a sacred time and space for Mom to work out things with God and come to fuller peace- almost like while her body sleeps, her soul is communing with God and He is transforming her.  I thought that was so beautiful and true because when we are asleep our very busy reasoning minds are at peace, for God to do His work in our hearts.  This has really touched me at this time because I want more than anything for my Mom to sense the Lord's Presence with her, his faithfulness to her.

Thankfully, I have been able to leave my cleaning business to my amazing crew of women, fellow rez attenders, (Rebecca Hexom, Johannah Swank, and Alysa Luoendee).  Praise God for faithful, hard-working friends!  Being self-employed has allowed me such flexibility, I am amazed how the timing worked out this way- though difficult and more stressful than I have ever experienced, God has provided.

With this time, I have been busy taking care of mom, coordinating relief care-givers, and planning the funeral with mom and dad.  There has been some fun too: I gave mom a pedicure and manicure last night, while we talked openly about things, more openly than we have before.  Please continue to pray that God clears her mind so that my siblings, dad and me can have more lucid times with her.  When she was admitted to the hospital she was very confused, hallucinating and delirious- I have been hoping that would lift and we would get "mom" back mentally, even if momentarily, I am thankful and surprised by this event now. 

My Aunt Diane, my mom's youngest sister, flew in from Houston yesterday and has been such a comfort and blessing.  She is a prayer warrior and continues to point all of us to Jesus.  Pray for her family back home, Kevin (husband), Tyler (18), Kolbie (15), and Justin (13) as they are sharing her with us. 

And lastly, please pray for me and the Gates and McLennan families as we enter into grieving more- I have been so busy lately that I haven't slowed down much to feel, by choice and circumstances.  And within the past 48 hours, my numbness wall has begun to crumble- leaving way for the pain to pour in, slowly and like a rush at times.  I am savoring these moments, with her still breathing, still warm to the touch- and the tears that stain our cheeks.  This is sacred ground, I know, Gethsemane comes to mind.  Please continue to worship God for how He is completing the good work he began in my mom when she was 3 years old, and ask him for more sacred grieving for all of us.

Peace of Christ.

In Jesus Name, Our Suffering God,
Bethany

--
The GreenClean Maid
"All Natural, Eco-Friendly Cleaning"
847.845.2132
bethanygates@gmail.com

--
The GreenClean Maid
"All Natural, Eco-Friendly Cleaning"
847.845.2132
bethanygates@gmail.com