More Pictures of Mom

This is Annie (Mom's baby sister, who flew up from Texas to be with her) and Aunt Bernie (one of Dad's sisters, who came to stay over many nights to help). Mom had just woken up from her nap in her own bed! We had gotten help from friends to carry her up the stairs, it took three people. She really wanted to be in her own bed in her bedroom. In this picture we were helping her go through all her jewelry and picking out her clothes for the visitation and funeral. I think we were all numb.


Or slap happy! I don't know what I am laughing about in this picture, but I just love that I am laughing with Mom.


She raised her hands for this picture impromtu. I think she wanted a picture of her praising God, for us to remember that she kept praising Him... unto the very end. Amen!



I know it's dark, but I love her eyes and expression in this picture. Annie is talking and Mom is looking on her with such love. Mom was such a good, patient, attentive listener. She loved me with her listening.

Mom and her boy.


Mom and her girls.

Hannah and Mom.

Pictures of Mom

This was just a few days before she went to be with Jesus and He gave her eternal Life.

This hibiscus flower is from Mom's garden! She had just planted it this year and the blossom was magnificent. I picked her fresh flowers from her garden every few days because they just kept blooming. What I would give to pick her flowers again!

Achingly so

So, one month came and went.  And yesterday, the 27th was my Dad's 58th birthday!  Happy Birthday, Dad!

I have been going, a lot.  I have been doing a lot.  I have been "up and about" ... a lot.  And I haven't felt much.  Which has been nice, but God is slowing me down.  And I am feeling more.  Hurting more.  Missing her... achingly so.

This weekend at Church, I prayed and asked God why no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get on top of finances, my time management, and my eating habits.  I am a very undisciplined person and I am beyond frustration about it, I am exasperated... bewildered.  I think God told me that I need to slow down.  That I can't possibly expect myself to be on top of these things at the pace at which I have been surviving my life (not living, mind you).  I think He told me that if I slow down and hold off on all my very ambitious goals, that I will find myself more whole and perhaps disciplined than before?!  I get the impression this isn't just a seasonal slowing down, this is a way of life thing, a "stop adding another thing to your life and just be" kind of recommendation. 

I am not very good at just "be-ing".  I am an anxious, fidgety, high energy, extroverted-to-a-fault, effervescent kind of woman.  Slowing down and just "be-ing" isn't in my repertoire... I need a manual, a to-do list, some verb that I can latch onto!  Sitting and breathing aren't good enough.  Is "stilling" a verb?  I don't think so.

This is where I am at... avoiding being still.  Avoiding "being".  And I know God has been nudging me to this for years.  And I think I need it more now than ever.  A good book on this: Invitation to Solitude and Silence, read it if you are also considering "stilling" yourself.