Lenten Hope

Wow, I am so full right now.  No, not food-full, but God-doing-so-many-things-in-my-life-full.  I feel the need for a long nap and a dimly lit quiet room where I can slowly absorb all the mercy and beauty. 

First off, I want to share how God has been blessing The GreenClean Maid:  I gained 3 new clients early this week, a potential 4th client whom I still have yet to meet with, mentoring and networking help from the President of the Warrenville Chamber of Commerce as well as a highly respected, successful, business savvy real estate broker!  I am so thankful, God is providing for me through this young business... and really He has always been providing- it is just a matter of whether I have had eyes to see it. 

Patricia Haskins is not only the beloved mother of my boyfriend, David, but the exceptionally talented and successful President of the Warrenville Chamber.  She and I met up this week to brainstorm ways I can network further and build the business, I hadn't really considered expanding beyond myself- but I am open to the Lord's leading.  

Currently, I am not at capacity yet, so I have no plans to take on anyone at this point, but green cleaning is an open market and could very well blossom (no pun intended).  I would love to be a  part of spreading the green word and blessing homes all over the Western Suburbs with the gift of greenclean!  We will just have to wait and see what our Father has up his sleeve!   

Along with this Patrick Roach of Modo Real Estate is a church acquaintance and now mentor and friend.  He gave me such great advice and coaching, I am so grateful for the Church and how God brings people together.  Not only did he offer to meet up again for another coaching session, but he is going to put my info on his website because up until now he doesn't have any house cleaners he refers people to!  Holy Cow!  This is an exceptional blessing (one I didn't expect) because Patrick is greatly successful (even now) and all due to word of mouth.   

So at this point, I am excited, energized and training for this adventure (especially since running a business is completely new and intimidating).  Please thank the Lord with me for His faithfulness in this way and continue to pray for further guidance and opportunity!

Secondly, I am so thankful and blessed by Rez, she is more and more beautiful to me.  I have been praying with a new sister, Kristan (K-Pob), each week which is greatly transforming me into a faithful woman!  Something about praying in community draws out what you considered too weak and not good enough.  Praying with K-Pob not only has given me a new and dear friend, but an accountability to and reminder of my First Love.  In addition to this, Barbara G, my most recent spiritual mother,  and I met again this past week for spiritual mentoring and prayer.  She is such a huge gift to me and the Church, not to mention her husband as well.  I am exceedingly grateful and encouraged by her faith, wisdom, knowledge, solidarity, humility, service, prayer, encouragement, gentleness and love especially through this dark season.  She mentioned to me, that my mom is a saint and missionary right now as she endures cancer and chemo and cares for her sick patients in the hospital.  Because just as Jesus suffered and can meet us in our suffering, so too can she meet those suffering.  It is only God's economy and God's beauty and God's love that keeps me together...really.

Thirdly, I am beyond words thankful for my mother.  She is my own personal saint.  Now more than ever am I honored to be her daughter.  She is working full-time learning this new float nursing position for adult patients, most of which are geriatric and on their death beds.  Her bald cute head covered with a cap, and sparkly eyes, and warm smile ministering love to these weak, bed-ridden elderly is a manifestation of Christ conquering darkness.  Here she is with metastasized breast cancer, weakened by chemo, sore from medication, tirelessly working to provide for my dad, sister, nephew, and brother, and me.  My anger, confusion, frustration and despair over this seemingly dire circumstance is being transformed into more openness, faith, trust, and love for God than I ever thought I would have, but so greatly longed for.  I have prayed for years for deeper intimacy with the Trinity, and I see now how these years of struggle are growing exactly that.  I wouldn't pray for cancer, or even thank Him for it, but I will pray "to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" and I will thank Him for His faithfulness in "getting me there" (because I am not "there" yet).  But I am on my way, running the race set before me, saying "Yes" to Jesus, and letting go, Thy will be done.

And finally, I just attended the CORE Retreat today for membership to Rez, somehow long overdue, but perfect in its timing:)  The Retreat was unexpectedly revealing, inspiring, exciting, healing and wonderfully convicting.  This is largely why I am so "full".  Because God's work, really His Presence is more than I can fully comprehend or absorb, it is overflowing in Life and Beauty and Freedom and Joy.  The entire membership process has been uniquely special to me, for now more than ever do I need to knit myself into the fabric of the Church, the beautiful tapestry of Saints and Martyrs, Apostles and Prophets... because it is through Their leadership, intercession, suffering and testimony that my gaze is drawn from myself to My Lord.  This is my Lenten discipline, evermore my eyes on Jesus, evermore my gaze into Love.

Praise Him.

With Lenten hope,

Bethany

More than enough.

Happy New Year!
We had a great night at HMS Berkley with the Watch Night Service Father Rudi officiated. It was a great way to ring in 2009. I was especially blessed that night to get more business for The GreenClean Maid and potential full-time work. The Lord is really providing for me the more I trust Him. Wow! What d'ya know, trusting God actually works:)

I had such a wonderful day today too visiting with a couple from church that I hadn't known much about, but had prayed for me before. It was so encouraging hearing their story of trusting God in the midst of battle, suffering, cancer, and unexpected crisis. The best part for me is realizing how all those times they prayed for me at church, they too were fighting for faith, when I assumed that their lives must be so great and they themselves unfettered by suffering. Don't misunderstand me, I am not rejoicing in others' suffering, rather, in how amazing God's provision is for those who allow Him to provide as He knows is best.

My friend did this, she let God into her pain and vulnerability and fear and He met her with love and strength. From this wellspring she drew to pray for me and so many others.

I sat there rejoicing in my friends' story, but this little pinch inside poked, "does anything go well for Christians? Can we count on anything being prosperous?" It is difficult for me to see godly Christians with repentant hearts encounter such loss, I get afraid realizing more and more that no matter how hard I may try, no matter how much therapy or prayer I go through, I will inevitably continue to screw up, hurt those I love the most and experience unexplainable loss. I start to feel despair in the face of this and that is when I have learned I need to look up and out at Christ.

In answering this little pinch, I tell "her" the truth about God's provision, how we can count on Him making all things new, how He keeps His promise for LIFE and how the one thing that does go well for Christians is the love they share with and receive from God through all the risings and settings of the sun. And how this is really more than enough.


Lord, I believe, help thou, my unbelief.

Escape at all costs!

I work with this wonderful woman, Sue, who is training me in my position. She is from the area originally, but just recently moved here from California. She, like my mom, has battled breast cancer and been betrayed by an employer. She is a believer and said that her faith got her through. But it is devastating to her heart, mind and spirit.

Then, I also heard about John Fawcett, back home at church (Church of the Resurrection) and how his battle with cancer is going. And my heart is heavy with sadness, like the clouds are heavy with rain over these fields. I have been praying throughout the day for God to comfort and be with me, and I have sensed from Him that I just need to let myself feel these things. Feel this pain in and with His Presence. (Which as some of you may know, I hate pain and want to escape at all costs!)

At one point in the day, I had this experience where all this grief and suffering came rushing at me like a crashing wave set to destroy me, immediately I saw Christ, the Logos of God, with all His glory suffering on the cross. Even now as I write, tears come to my eyes because our God knows what it is to suffer! He knows what it is to die! He knows full well what it is to be disappointed, to hurt, to loose out, to be betrayed and wrongfully attacked. He really can empathize with us, He really can grieve with us. I believe that we cry because that is His own response. He shed the first tear, and He will wipe away the last.

What shall we do in the meantime? As we wait for the handkerchief of Heaven?
We shall worship.

We shall sing loudly, profoundly, mysteriously and reverently of the victory that we own and awaits. We shall proclaim with all the earth and heavens the glory of the Lord. We shall live as ministers, as the Royal Priesthood of the Most High King. We shall walk through the darkness of cancer, betrayal, missing a much loved boyfriend, and even death with the love and nearness of God propelling us forward. With His Truth setting us free, the Saints cheering us on, and the Spirit giving us song we will gallantly enter the final frontier more than conquerers. And then, we will see Him face-to-face.

Come Lord Jesus, Come!

Peace,