I work with this wonderful woman, Sue, who is training me in my position. She is from the area originally, but just recently moved here from California. She, like my mom, has battled breast cancer and been betrayed by an employer. She is a believer and said that her faith got her through. But it is devastating to her heart, mind and spirit.
Then, I also heard about John Fawcett, back home at church (Church of the Resurrection) and how his battle with cancer is going. And my heart is heavy with sadness, like the clouds are heavy with rain over these fields. I have been praying throughout the day for God to comfort and be with me, and I have sensed from Him that I just need to let myself feel these things. Feel this pain in and with His Presence. (Which as some of you may know, I hate pain and want to escape at all costs!)
At one point in the day, I had this experience where all this grief and suffering came rushing at me like a crashing wave set to destroy me, immediately I saw Christ, the Logos of God, with all His glory suffering on the cross. Even now as I write, tears come to my eyes because our God knows what it is to suffer! He knows what it is to die! He knows full well what it is to be disappointed, to hurt, to loose out, to be betrayed and wrongfully attacked. He really can empathize with us, He really can grieve with us. I believe that we cry because that is His own response. He shed the first tear, and He will wipe away the last.
What shall we do in the meantime? As we wait for the handkerchief of Heaven?
We shall worship.
We shall sing loudly, profoundly, mysteriously and reverently of the victory that we own and awaits. We shall proclaim with all the earth and heavens the glory of the Lord. We shall live as ministers, as the Royal Priesthood of the Most High King. We shall walk through the darkness of cancer, betrayal, missing a much loved boyfriend, and even death with the love and nearness of God propelling us forward. With His Truth setting us free, the Saints cheering us on, and the Spirit giving us song we will gallantly enter the final frontier more than conquerers. And then, we will see Him face-to-face.
Come Lord Jesus, Come!
Peace,
1 comment:
I just discovered this "comment" option Bethany... You are truly an author. Your words capture my mind and heart. I can see Christ, catching your waive of grief... I can see a tear fall from Heaven when Adam fell... He did shed the first tear, and will wipe away the last. And yes! Worship, sing loudly of the victory that we own! Thank you precious daughter. Mom
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